Monday, June 9, 2008
I can say with confidence that I, Bryce Watanbe am a non-smoker. It has been half-a-year since my last smoke, and I can say that now with no doubts. I can't say however, that I am cured. The fact is, I am non-practicing niccotene addicct, and I always will be. Even today, when i step out of a bar and pass through the crowd of my old peers, quickly digging into thier pockets and purses for a lighter, I often hear myself in my own mind asking them for a drag. I haven't asked them yet. I refrain because I know that somewhere deep inside me, is a malinourished smoker who wants to be freed. I have made it my personal mission to starve him, hoping that one day, hell just dry up and dissppear, but he isn't doing that. He is still there in the shadows, waiting for me to have a moment of weakness during a stress-induced drinking binge, to prey on me at my weakest moment. I know now that he ain't going nowhere, but his voice does get weaker, and I have faith that as time goes by he'll become so faint, that I pay him no attention at all. For now, I'll chew my gum, write my blogs, and pretend not to notice the faint smells of the 2nd floor office ladies on smoke break 'round the corner.