He Said

I think i may be in love again. Well, I feel like I am. I don't know, every time this happens, i think to myself: 'What the hell are you doing??? what are you thinking?? The thing is when all is said and done, it doesn't look like love in retrospect. Not after you're driving back home from their house for the last time, wondering what the hell just happened. Not when you think back at all the time and energy you gave away in the name of it, all trapped in pictures stuck in your friend's cameras that come back to haunt you months after you thought you'd gotten over it...Not as much as it did when you were there ya know?? When you were holding eachother in the dark, perfectly fitting together like pieces of a broken window wondering what the fuck else you could possibly say to this person other than that. It doesn't get sweeter. Or does it? I just want this to last as long as it possibly can. Professionally and intellectually I know I want so much more from life than where I am now, but in terms of my heart...I wanna be stuck here forever. I know I know, that's immature and all that. That's me. The peter pan of broken hearts. I'm scared that growing up means leaving this kind of stuff behind. Maybe growing up means a love thats deeper than the peace of mind that comes with the scent of your significant other. GRRRR. Too much thinking about it. I'm just going to enjoy it for now...